- Kneel Before Stormaggeddon
- September 10th, 2014
What apparently went through my baby boy's head today, just before naptime:
All right, time to keep myself occupied while Mama gets my sister to sleep. Still don't know why I can't ram the bedroom door with my toy car or make it play "Yankee Doodle Dandy" fifty-seven times. Grownups are just weird. Ah, here we are—pokey things!
Right, I've seen Dada use these pokey things before. This one points, and *press press press press press press* ah hah! The screen thingy comes on! Sort of boring, though, just a little sign bouncing around saying "No Signal." Well, I can fix that with the other pokey thing. *poke poke poke poke wiggle wiggle wiggle poke*
Hah! Now everything's purple! And there are boxes! *wiggle wiggle wiggle* No, I don't want to play Mama and Dada's squareness game. They keep yelling at someone called a "creeper," and I don't think I'd like him. No, I think I want . . . Internet! That sounds cool. I'll get an internet. *poke poke*
Hey! Pictures! Pictures are good! Little boxes with words are boring. Go away, little box. *poke* Why are there more little boxes? Wha—HEY! Mama, why are you taking away my pokey things? Why are you turning off the screen thingy? What do you mean, "You can't buy stuff on Amazon?!" Put me down, I have rights!
So . . . yeah. Despite a vocabulary of less than twelve words, my son is smart enough to use the Playstation.
Mark my words, in five years, he'll be running this joint. And by "this joint," I suspect I mean "Earth."